Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...