why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops