What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

Women's rights.

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

YOLO

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

Screw it you write the joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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