There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Brain fart

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Men

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops