If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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