A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

Why did the car stop To buy drugs

Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

A fat guy!

A: Do you like it B: No

Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

anti jokes are gay...your all gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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