- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

mitt romney

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

Women's rights.

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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