What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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