A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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they're dead. idiot.

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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