- Anti Joke

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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