what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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A blind man walked past a fish store. For a second he thought it might be a womens vaginal odor, but then concluded it was most likely a fish store, and went on with his day.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops