why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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