One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Smelly Indians.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You had better thumbs up this post.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops