They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Antijokes...

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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