Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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AND

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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