Every human being has some kind of penis <3

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops