why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

What is the best joke ever? 1D

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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