A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

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69

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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