What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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NEVER

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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