A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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