Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops