If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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