There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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What did the mentally challenged kid get on his test? Drool

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Well you see....

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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