"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

u NoT mY dAd HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

Homo say what?

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

What is better than life? Nothing.

Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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