what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

thumb_up thumb_down

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what rhymes with sloth? rape

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops