What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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black

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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