What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +21

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +21

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops