Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

69.... is a number

The Mets win the World Series

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

I'm Spartacus

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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