What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Women's Rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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