Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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