What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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A Man thought it was a good day and to go on anti-joke.com then he saw a post that had a link. This man was you and the link was http://minedgamez.tk/beta/ The man then clicked the link and fucking laughed so hard xD. She died in a car crash. Then a pickle appeared. It was then eaten by you not realizing it was actually a hamster.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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