What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Take part of what?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

thumb_up thumb_down -18

it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops