whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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=3

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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I'm HIV positive.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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