What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops