There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock. Not home.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What dosent kill you only makes you injured

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

scraggle is in you pillow case

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops