roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -84

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops