Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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your mom

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops