What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Asians...

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The.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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