Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

Justin Bieber

Whats brown a sticky, shit

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

Knock Knock. Come in.

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...