What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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boner

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops