Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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