Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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