Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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