Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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