A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Aisian failed a test

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops