Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops