How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Women's rights

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops