what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Mogok Papiti.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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