Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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