A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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i'm hard

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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