How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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